


Why you’re wearing that to walk out of my life?

by Larry_rising



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Beards (Relationships), Blow Jobs, Bottom Harry, Fluff and Angst, Inspired by the song love you goodbye, Louis Tomlinson Proposes to Harry Styles, M/M, One Shot, Smut, Top Louis, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-14
Updated: 2016-01-14
Packaged: 2018-05-13 22:41:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5719702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Larry_rising/pseuds/Larry_rising
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and Harry find out Taylor Swift will be Harrys next beard and Louis is afraid to lose Harry.<br/>Inspired by the song "Love you Goodbye"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why you’re wearing that to walk out of my life?

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you like my first one shot :)  
> I'm not a native speaker, so sorry about any mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> Big thank you goes to my pal Domi for helping out with the editing

This is not his home. Officially, he owns this place, yes. Officially, he even lives here. But it's more like a PR home for Louis, organized by the boys’ management, to cover up that he and his boyfriend have lived together for almost three years now. His proper home is at Harry’s place and most of the time he offers his PR house to friends or family. But at the moment he's thankful for this quiet place, where no memories are. It's just a random house to him. Clean, cold and impersonal.  
As soon as he enters the hallway, he slams the front door and runs straight into the bedroom upstairs. Louis throws himself on the big bed and curls up on it. He doesn't feel home here in this house and even less home in this bed. The smell of this room is so unfamiliar to him, it smells like a mixture of cleaning supplies and scented candles. But not that kind of scented candles that Harry loves to burn in the evenings when they cuddle up on the sofa together. It has nothing to do with the warm smell of woods and the feeling of cuddly and rainy fall days they both love so much. These candles here smell like bubble gum and Louis immediately gets sick of their sweet scent. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in, trying not to think. But of course he fails. He lies on the clean, cold sheets, knees up to his chest and his face covered by his arms, sobbing into the pillow. Tears are streaming down his face and he just wants to shut the world out. He doesn’t want to hear or see anything or anyone. While he sobs into the pillow he curses the whole world; the management, the music industry, every fucking thing. Why is life so hard to him? He didn't do anything wrong. He just fell for one of his band mates. For his best friend. For his soul mate. This is not fair. For both of them, it's not fair. He knows that Harry wants this just as little as him and Louis feels fucking selfish, because he just left him there alone, but he had to leave the meeting with their management. He couldn’t be there one more minute. He wasn't able to handle his emotions and he just wanted to run away from everything. Louis knows that this is not the right way to deal with bad things, but he was never good at handling problems.  
Obviously this wouldn’t be first beard they had to deal with. Louis was in a fake relationship with Eleanor for about two years now and also Harry has had a few fake girlfriends during the last years. This thing with Taylor shouldn't be any different, but to Louis it feels completely different, because he hadn't expected it at all. Of course he's selfish, because Harry had to deal with Eleanor for so long now, but Louis can't help himself. He just wants to be free - to be able to live his love with Harry free and blithe. He thought things were changing, because he has had the feeling that this all would end soon, but obviously nothing had changed. How could he have a future with Harry, when they both had to spend their rare free time with random girls? Pretending to be happy with them and even kiss them. This was wrong, so so wrong.  
Suddenly Louis hears one quiet knock on the door. He holds his breath, but he doesn't answer. Honestly, he doesn't even care who is in front of his room, although he thought he was alone in the house. He just lies on the bed, pretending not to be there while wishing that person will go away. But the person knocks again, this time quiet and slowly and Louis knows immediately that it has to be Harry knocking on the door. He can tell just by the way of his fucking knocking. Just the thought about how well they know each other causes another big sob.  
„Lou?“ Louis hears a voice from behind the door. His voice. His beautiful, deep voice. Why is he here? How does he know Louis is here and how did he even get in? The fact that Harry is here makes everything just harder for him. „Lou, please. Can I come in? Let me see you.“ Louis didn't lock the door since he thought he was alone and he knows Harry would respect if Louis didn't want to see him. Louis lets out a sob when he hears Harry’s desperately voice again „Please, Louis. I need to see you... But if you want me to go, then I'll leave.“ After a few quiet seconds Louis finally answers hardly audible „okay, come on in then“. Louis' face is still buried in the pillows, when he hears the door opening. Harry slowly walks into the room and climbs into the bed beside Louis. Louis could feel Harry’s gaze on his back, but he doesn’t turn around. Also Harry doesn't say or do anything, he just sits beside Louis.  
„Lou. We can make it. I promise.“ Harry lets out after a few minutes of silence. „You promise?“ Louis answers, drenched in tears, still not looking at Harry. „How? How should we make it? How should we handle this? How should I handle this? I can't, Harry. I just can't. I just can't stand you being with her. I just can’t “. His voice cracks at the end and he shakes and sobs. “It is too hard for me. I'm not as strong as you are Harry.“ „Hey. Please, Lou. Look at me.“ Harry says broken-heartedly. But it is impossible for Louis to look at him. He notices that Harry slowly lies down and then Louis can feel a warm body against his back and even warmer, big hands around his waist. He can barely handle the familiar feeling of Harry’s hands and his sweet but manly smell that is only Harry’s. „I love you, Lou. Always have and always will. No matter what. You have to believe me. I want this as little as you.“ Harry whispers into Louis neck. Louis is shaking, tears coming out of his eyes, no matter what. „You will always be the one for me, Louis“, Louis feels Harry’s hot breath on his neck and he can hear in his voice, that Harry is crying. Louis can't take this. He can't handle, that Harry is crying because of him, because of all of this. He hates to see him sad, it's the worst for him. Louis feels so helpless and he has no clue what he should do. Finally, he slowly uncovers his face and turns around to face Harry, whose arms are still around his waist. Louis looks directly into Harry’s beautiful, big, breathtaking eyes, which are usually full of life and joy. But now they're bloodshot, sad and covered in tears. Just like his own. They keep looking at each other for ages, desperately, help-, and hopelessly. Louis can't resist the instinct of whipping his thump over Harry’s cheeks, wiping away the tears, the pain. He knows in a few days Harry will spend his time with someone else, he will pretend to be in love with a girl he barely likes and pretend to never have loved Louis. Maybe it's a dumb idea to allow Harry to be here in the same bad with him, cramping at each other like two drowning people. But weren’t they exactly that? Two drowning boys only having each other and struggling with the water that wants to tear them apart. They're like a boat on the open sea, fighting against the waves, which are trying to break them. Always looking for a sign, a lighthouse, that will bring them home safely. But weren't they each others’ homes? Where would he go, if he didn't have Harry in his life? What would be his home? Louis has no idea, because his home would always be Harry.  
Finally, he breaks away from Harry, closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath. When he opens his eyes again, he looks down at Harry’s chest and he can't hold another sob any more. He recognizes a white shirt, tight on Harry’s chest and biceps, because it is way too small for him now. Louis has a painful flashback to a day almost three years ago. A flashback to happier days, to days where they could be who they really were. Of course, they weren't allowed to show their love too obvious, but at least they didn't have to pretend. Louis thinks about that day where Harry got this shirt from a fan with a big inscription on it: Harry <3 Louis. Harry had grown a lot over the past years and he had put on muscles. But he's wearing the shirt now to bring the good times back. Louis gazes at the shirt, feeling happiness and pain at the same time.  
„Why, Harry? Why are you wearing this? Are you wearing this to say goodbye? To walk out of my life?“ Louis says in pain. „No. I'm not walking out of your life, Louis. You know that. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving. You are my life Lou. And nothing in this fucking world will ever change this.“ Harry says insistently, tears rolling down his cheeks again. „I just want you to remember.“ he says quietly, staring into Louis' deep blue eyes. „Because I always will. I will always remember, that we can make it. That we can do everything, because I love you.“ Harry abruptly pulls his shirt above his head and hands it to Louis. „I want you to take it. But this is not a goodbye gift or anything like that, believe me! I just want you to have it. And when you are upset and done with fucking everything, I want you to remember, that I love you. I always have and I always will. We can make it, because you and I can make everything. We can't let management win, we are stronger than they are. We are stronger together.“ Louis takes the shirt from Harry and presses it against his face with closed eyes. The smell is overwhelming. It brings back all the memories. All the laughter about stupid jokes, that the other boys didn't understand. The long conversations at midnight, tightly cuddled against each other on the tour bus, trying to be quiet to not wake Liam, Niall and Zayn. The long walks together when the sun set down. The dancing in the kitchen to old British pop music. But it also brings back the feeling of hiding and hopelessness and memories of fake dates with fake girlfriends. Louis doesn't know what to do. He loves Harry. He loves him so much. But this strong bond makes everything so much harder. He had never felt something like this for someone else before. He didn’t even think he was able to love someone like that before he met Harry. He wants to have a future with him and spend the rest of his life with this beautiful curly boy. Should he give up all of that? Should he give up the love of his live just because other people told them constantly they were wrong for each other? That they were not enough? That was very unlike him. All his life he had been a little rebel and usually he didn't let other people tell him what to do or what do think. And deep in his heart he knew, that he could never let him go, even if he tried. But this was all too much, too overwhelming. His love for Harry was so huge, but so were the struggles they had to deal with.  
“What are you thinking?” Harry whispers against Louis' forehead, letting his lips rest there. Louis' face is still buried in the shirt, but he lifts his head to look at Harry. “I'm afraid” he admits. “I don't want to let them win, because I know it's not right. But this is all too much for me. And I don't know what to do any more.” Harry looks so sad and this breaks Louis' heart. He doesn't want to see such kind of expression on his beautiful face. “I love you too, Harry” he finally says. “I love you and I just can't do anything about it.” “Then don't. Just don't.” Harry says, nearly begging. He lifts a hand and brushes a strand of Louis' fringe out of his face. He softly brushes Louis' hair back and then he rests his hand at the back of Louis' head. And then Louis gives in. He closes his eyes for a few seconds to feel all the love he has for this boy, remembering that their love was worth fighting for. Some day this would all be over and they could go through everything when they were just together. “Okay” he whispers against Harry neck. He takes a deep breath and inhales Harry’s scent. He smells so good. He smells like peace, home and pure love. “Okay?” Harry asks. “Yeah, I think we can make it. I mean, times will be hard, but maybe we can go through all of this.” “Not maybe, Lou. We will make it. We have managed so much until now.” he says strong-minded and with hope in his voice. Louis looks up at his beautiful boy and brushes with his hand over his curls lightly. God, he loves him so much. “Yeah” he says with a small smile on his lips and then he presses his lips hard and desperately against Harry’s. “I don't want to think about that any more for today.” He says against Harrys lips. “I know we won't see each other much the next time, besides work. Because.... Yeah. You know why. I just want you to love me goodbye.” “It's not a goodbye” Harry says with so much love and desperation in his voice. “I will always be here with you. If not physically, then always with my mind and with my heart. I love you.” “I know. And I love you, too. Always”, Louis answers.  
And then, they both forget about all the things they have to deal with. Because for the moment they're together and that's the only thing that matters. Louis leans in, parts Harry’s lips with his and wraps his arms around him while he runs his fingers through his curls. Harry presses his lips hard against Louis’, letting out a little moan while licking into Louis’ mouth. They kiss each other needy, desperately and knead each others’ tongues. Harry cups Louis' face with his big hands and kisses Louis' closed eyes and his cheeks, kissing the tears away. They hug each other tightly while kissing, petting each others’ arms, backs and cheeks. “I love you” Harry mumbles against Louis lips “so, so much”.  
Harry sucks at the soft skin on Louis' neck and Louis moans in response, pressing Harry closer to his body. He wants to feel him as close as possible. Louis presses his hands against Harry’s bare back, feeling his muscles under his soft skin. He slides his hand over his spine down to Harry’s arse, kneading it and squeezing Harry even closer to him. Louis bites on Harry’s bottom lip and sucks lustfully on it, which causes the curly boy to groan filthy into Louis' mouth. Louis presses Harry onto his back, slides on top of him, kisses his jawline and lets his lips glide over his neck and chest. He slides his hands over Harry’s chest and pecks his left nipple. Louis sucks gently on both of them while he fumbles Harry’s two tiny extra nipples lower on his chest. Harry groans and arches his back to bring himself closer to Louis while digging his hands in Louis' soft hair. Then he puts his hands under Louis' arms to bring him up to eye level. He licks into Louis' mouth and sucks needy on his bottom lip. He presses his hands at Louis' arse and Louis can feel the heat from Harry’s body and his hard cock against his own. “God I love you so much. So fucking much. You're already so hard for me” Louis moans filthily into Harry’s mouth.  
Louis unbuttons Harry’s black skinny jeans and pulls them off. He gasps when Harry slips a hand under his jeans and boxers to knead his arse roughly. Then he can feel Harry’s warm, big hands on his chest before he lets him pull his hoodie over his head. Harry’s fingers brush over Louis' nipples, which cause goosebumps all over his body. Louis moans, he wants Harry so badly. He pulls his trousers down while kissing Harry’s lips roughly. Harry traces the outline of Louis' cock through his pants, feeling it twitch beneath his fingertips.  
“Wanna suck you. Need your taste on my tongue.” Harry lets out while palming Louis' hard cock though his boxers. “Fuck. Yeah.” Harry bites on his lower lip and kisses his way down to Louis' chest and belly while pulling his boxers down. He licks above Louis' belly button, goes down to his thighs, avoiding his cock, to suck on his inner thighs. Louis moans and arches his back while Harry breathes hotly above his hard cock, yet still not touching him. “You’re such a tease.” Louis growls, which causes Harry to smirk before he pecks Louis' head. Then he takes Louis' cock deep into his mouth, sucking and licking on it. He closes his eyes while deepthroating Louis. “Ohhh. You're so good baby.” Louis looks down at Harry’s lips around his cock and strokes his hair and shoulders. Harry opens his eyes to watch Louis’ needy and lustful facial expressions while sucking him. Harry lets Louis' cock out of his moth, pecks little kisses on his head, before he licks a stripe down to his balls, sucking lightly on them before taking one ball into his mouth. “Fuck, Harry” Louis hands grip the sheets. He's leaking precome on his belly, while Harry sucks a love bite on his inner thigh. He makes his way back up to Louis' cock, taking it all in and Louis can feel his length down in Harry’s throat. “Oh god, Harry. Being so good to me. So good. Wanna eat you out princess, okay?” Harry moans in response while still having Louis' cock in his mouth, causing vibrations that drive Louis crazy. “On your knees Baby. Bend over for me”, Louis groans. Harry lets out Louis' cock and licks the precome from his belly. “Y' taste so good Lou. So, so good.” Louis pulls Harry back up to kiss him toughly. He licks inside Harry’s mouth and he could taste himself on Harry tongue. He loves his own taste mixed with Harry’s inside of his boys’ mouth. He pulls down Harry’s boxers to take his fully hard cock in his hand, pumping him a few times before he makes space so that Harry gets down to his hands and knees.  
Louis puts himself between Harry’s legs and kisses down the boy’s spine. He kneads his arse before he spreads his cheecks apart. Harry moans and slips down to his forearms to pop out his arse even more. “You're so needy, Baby. I love it.” Louis says admiring Harry. “What a pretty little arse you have.” Louis pecks both of Harry’s cheeks, while gently petting and rubbing them. “Fuck Louis. Need your tongue. Please!” Louis smirks before he licks over Harry’s hole in a long wide stripe, which makes Harry gasp. Louis lets his tongue circle around Harry’s hole, before he finally licks all over Harry’s fluttering pink hole again. “God, Louis. You're so good to me.” Harry rolls his hips back, trying to get Louis to push his tongue inside him. “Lou...!” is all Harry is able to bring out before Louis presses his tongue inside the boy. Louis loves how hot and tight Harry is around his tongue; his own cock is painfully hard. He licks wetly into Harry’s hole, sucking gently and moaning at the taste. “You taste so good, baby. So so good.” Louis mumbles while licking Harry’s open. Then Louis pulls all the way out before he pulls back in, fucking Harry with his wet, hot tongue. Spit is dripping down, while Louis reaches around to grab Harry’s rock hard cock, which is heavy and swollen in his hands. Louis curls his tongue inside Harry and pumps him at the same time, stroking his thumb over the tip. Harry cries out Louis’ name. “M' close, Louis. Fuck, this is so good.”  
Louis loves Harry reacting like that, but he immediately lets Harry’s cock go and pulls his tongue out. “I don't want you to come, yet, princess. Not yet.” Harry has tears in his eyes, crying out loudly. Louis can see on Harrys face how close his boy is and how much he misses the feeling of Louis' tongue inside him. “I want you to come just because of my cock in your pretty hole, love. No touching okay?” Louis whispered against Harrys neck. “Yeah” Harry moans into the pillow “I need you inside me, Louis. Please!” Louis wants this so bad “So needy, my baby. So dirty and needy. Love that! I will fuck you so good. But first let me open you up a bit more.” Louis reaches under the bed, grope for a bottle of lube. He opens the bottle, covers his fingers with some lube and lets one finger slide gently above Harry’s swollen hole. Then he presses one finger in, which cause Harry to gasp. “Feels good, yeah?” “So good! More, I want more!” Louis fucking his one finger inside Harry a few times before adding a second one. “Remember not to come yet.” Harry is so tight and Louis can barely control himself by the thought of how tight Harry will be around his cock. He knows he hits Harry’s prostate, when Harry screams “Fuck, fuck, Louis. Feels so good. Need more.” Louis smiles, kisses Harrys neck and makes sure not to hit Harry’s spot again which makes him so fucking horny. He moans, rubs himself on Harry’s thighs and kisses his shoulders and upper spine. He can feel and taste Harry’s sweat mixed with his own. Louis grabs Harry’s curls and pulls lightly on them while bringing himself back behind Harry.  
Then he adds a second finger and moves around to stretch the boy out. He can feel Harry’s heartbeat and hear his needy whimper. Harry fucks himself back, crying out loud while Louis scissors him open and puts a third finger in. “You look so gorgeous around my fingers Baby.” Louis moans in pleasure. Harry rocks his hip back and forth, but Louis slams a hand down on his hip to keep him still, holding him steady as he keeps his fingers plunging in and out. Louis' cock is still rock hard and he can't take it anymore, he wants Harry so badly. “Need more time or are you ready for my cock, princess?” “M'ready. Want your cock now!” “Yeah? Want me to fuck your pretty pink hole, baby?” Louis whispers into Harry’s ear, while still scissoring him. “Yeah, yeah. Please” “I will fuck you so good, Baby. Gonna make you so full” Louis groans in response. Then he pulls his fingers out and Harry lets out a sob. Louis brushes over Harry’s arse gently, then flips him over, looking directly into his green, needy eyes. Louis just looks at his boy for a few seconds. Letting his eyes wander from his red puffed lips to his swallow tattoo on his chest and to the butterfly tattoo underneath. He admires Harry’s hard and swollen cock. “Fuck, you look so hot. You’re so hot and so pretty baby.”  
Louis looks for the lube, which is somewhere on the bed. Harry quickly grabs it, putting some lube out and taking Louis' cock in his hands to cover it with the cold liquid. Harry pumps Louis a few times to make sure he's completely covered. Then he lays down on his back and puts one of the pillows under his hips to put his arse a little higher. Louis reaches for Harry’s cheeks and gently brushes over it, over Harry’s lips, his eyelids. “Lou... Please, please fuck me.” Harry groans at Louis. Louis smirks at him and spreads his legs. “I will, baby. I will. Y'ready?” he asked. “Yeah, m'ready. Wanna feel you inside me. Wanna be full of you” he answers already out of breath.  
Louis teases Harry’s rim with the tip of his cock, then pushes slightly into Harry’s hole. “Fuck you're so tight baby. Fuck, fuck.” Louis slowly pulls deeper and deeper while Harry cries out and rolls his eyes in pleasure, breathing heavily. “You okay?” Louis asks, not wanting to hurt Harry. He rocks his hips carefully, sliding in and out. “Yeah. Come on Lou, fuck me!” And so Louis does. He pulls himself back, just to push in again, making Harry scream out his name. Louis puts himself deep inside Harry, hits his prostate. “Fuck. This feels so good. So fucking good.” Harry whines out loud. Louis starts biting at Harry’s nipples while fucking him. “Lou, please. Faster, please.” Harry moans out loudly. Louis starts to move fast, fucking the curly boy hard, hands on his waist. “You're so good, so hot and so tight.” Louis gasps, his heart beating fast. Louis pulls in and out fastly, hitting Harry’s prostate a few times, which causes Harry to scream. Louis can see Harry’s cock pulsing, precum tripping down on his stomach. “I'm so close Lou. Need to come. Need to come so bad”  
With his hands on Louis' arse Harry pushes Louis deeper inside him. He arches his bag, begging for some type of friction on his cock. Louis is close, too. Harry’s hot body and his tight hole are driving him crazy. “I’m close, too baby. Almost there... Fuck, you're so hot Harry.” Louis gasps, while fucking Harry hard, hitting his prostate. “Want you to come now, princess. Want you to come for me”. And that’s all it takes to send Harry over the edge completely. His moans grow louder until he hits his peak. Every muscle in his body tenses, his back arching off the bed and he cries out loud as he comes hard all over both of them. This view causes Louis to moan in pleasure. He reaches out and spreads the cum on Harry’s belly with his thumb. He licks the cum from his thumb, even sucking on it. “Fuck, Harry...” is all Louis is able to bring out before he hits his own orgasm. He takes Harry’s shoulders, squeezing them hard before he leans down and bites at them, teeth sinking in as he comes in his boys’ body. He lies on top of Harry and both boys breath heavily, smiling at each other. Louis pulls out, watches little drops of his cum drip out of Harry’s hole and down his bum where it soaks into the sheets. “Jesus, Harry. You are amazing and beautiful and so fucking hot… I love you so much.” He slumps onto the bed and sinks into the mattress, every muscle gone limp. Harry brushes Louis' wet fringe out of his face, leaning in for a gentle kiss. “I love you, too. I love you so, so much.” He pecks Louis' forehead, cheeks and nose. “You will always be the one for me. Always.”


End file.
